He's Just Not That Into You

We all have that guy.. and when you clicked this, he popped into your head. You know exactly who this blog is referring to. Well, get ready.. because this is going to get ugly. 

If you:

a) Have been seeing someone that you're "not sure" is totally interested
b) Have been obsessing over someone (i.e. waiting around for a text, or going places where you know you have a chance of running into them..creeping, lurking, or lingering...) who obviously isn't interested 
c) Are with someone who genuinely couldn't care less about you
d) Are desperately missing a crappy ex

I'm here to help you lift your head up, walk away, and let go. 

Rule Number One: Anything you chase in your life, will run away.

Men, for the most part, like to pursue women. It's just in their genes or something. Men like not knowing if they can catch you, and they feel rewarded when they do. Which, in turn, will make you seem much more valuable to them. If you're blowing up his phone every night or creeping around town hoping to run into him.. he's going to view you as a stage five clinger and flee out of your sight. Give a man a chase and he'll eat it up. Don't EVER text him first.. and if he texts you, don't text back immediately. Give the guy a few minutes. It's creepy and obsessive if he sends you a text and before he can even click the home button on his iPhone.. DING! Here's your reply. Stop it. Relax. This is when you'll find out if he's actually interested. If he doesn't text you.. quit telling yourself "well maybe he thinks i'm not interested..", "maybe he's waiting for me to text him first..", "well maybe he's shy".. NO. Bottom line: if he wanted to contact you, he would. Stop making excuses for this obviously uninterested guy, and find one who puts forth some effort. You are a prize.. and you deserve to be pursued. No matter how many times you've imagined your first name with his last, it's never going to happen.

Rule Number Two: If a guy wants you, he'll do everything in his power to keep you. 

This rule is referring to "c" on my list. If you're with someone who isn't reciprocating in your relationship.. get out, now. Find someone who will compromise with you. Relationships are a two way street, and both partners should be putting in equal amounts of effort. You shouldn't be doing all of the bending. Cut your losses and don't waste your time. If you don't, he will continue to drag you through a completely unsatisfying relationship, and you'll never be truly happy. The other day in my history class, I heard a guy say he loves his girlfriend and wants to be with her forever.. but doesn't believe in marriage. I call BS. Every man you've ever dated who has said he doesn't want to get married or doesn't believe in marriage.. will, rest assured, someday be married. It just will never be with you. A man who wants to make a relationship work will move mountains to keep the woman he loves. If he's not calling you to tell you he loves you and wants you back, it should be because he's showing up at your house to do it in person. If he's not doing any of that.. he may love you, he may miss you, but ultimately he's just not that into you. Stop taking his calls and let him know what it's like to live without you. Also, don't be flattered that he misses you. He should miss you. However, he's still the same jerk who treated you terribly. Remember, the only reason he can miss you is because he's committed the actions which led him to every day..not be with you. Be classy. And don't confuse being classy with being a doormat. Classy is walking away with your head held high, graciously, and with all dignity. Being a doormat is still offering to drive him to the dentist for his root canal. No matter how powerful and real your feelings may be for someone, if that person cannot fully and honestly return those feelings and actively love you back, these feelings mean nothing. Cut him off. Let him miss you. And never give him the chance to mistreat you again. 

Rule Number Three: It's called a breakup because it's broken.

Breakups are hard..but they're supposed to be clean breaks. Hard, clean breaks. No talking, no seeing, no touching, no drunk dials. The relationship is over.. and you're definitely not supposed to sleep with the guy who just broke your heart a week ago. Call all of your friends, go to the gym, sleep it off, go buy a puppy.. do whatever you have to in order to move on and get him off of your mind. If it was meant to be, it would've been. But it's over. And by the way.. breakup sex still means you're broken up.  Hey girl. Get your hands off of him, put your clothes back on, and go home. Do not find an excuse to stay. Do not think that because of all the crazy hotness of it all, you're meant to be together. Yes, breakup hook ups do seem like a good idea, but it confuses everything and makes you have separate emotions. Deciding to get back together with someone is a complicated and difficult decision. Just remember that the person you're getting back together with is the same person who, not long ago, looked you in your beautiful face, with all of your amazing qualities, and said "no thanks, i'll go out and sniff around for something better for a while." You deserve to be with someone who treats you like the princess you are. 

And last, but not least...

There's a guy out there who's going to be really happy that you didn't get back together with your crappy ex-boyfriend; or really happy that you finally gave up on that person you were chasing. I know mine is.