I've started to realize lately that there are far too many women staying stagnant in relationships they should've left a long time ago, whether it has been a week, a month, a year, or five years too long. I'm giving this advice because i've been there. More than once. I've said all of the most common lines..
"Maybe things will be better this time."
"Maybe he'll change."
"Maybe he'll start telling the truth now."
"Maybe he'll start to love and appreciate me more."
"Maybe he won't do (insert anything that hurt you) again."
Let me present you with this incredible wake up statement:
You should never have to talk yourself into staying in a relationship.
If it's true love, and effort is given equally on both sides, you should stay because you want to.
If the feelings are mutual, the effort should be equal.
The truth is, there is no better time than now to G E T O U T.
Get out while you're upset. Don't wait for him to reel you back into his web of lies again.
Once you make up, the cupcake fairytale phase that comes afterwards is only temporary.
And your relationship is a never ending cycle of ups and downs.. basically a roller coaster ride.
But not an enjoyable one.
Stop talking yourself back into something that no longer serves you or makes you feel loved and wanted.
Stop making excuses for the man that God is showing you isn't right for you.
Stop sacrificing your own happiness.
Stop wasting precious time with the wrong one while the right one is out there praying for a woman like you.
I once had a friend that told me she wasn't happy, but didn't want to leave her long term boyfriend because everyone always told her how lucky she was to have him because he was "sooo hot".
If the only redeeming quality you can come up with for the man you're spending your time and energy on is that he's physically attractive, RUN.
It doesn't matter how many other girls are drooling over your shoulder waiting for him to be available again.
It doesn't matter how attractive a guy is.. some woman, somewhere is tired of his shit.
And that's you.
Even if he's nice to you "sometimes." Even if your family loves him. Even if he buys you nice things.
Even if he tells you he loves you. Even if he apologizes over and over again and his "I'll change, I promise" repeats like a broken record every time he betrays you or your trust. Even if you feel that you need him the way you need oxygen.
And it's time you realize it.
You need to realize that healthy relationships shouldn't require you to abandon your values or happiness to keep them.
When you stumble upon the one that fits you, you'll look back and see how blind you were all along.
Take this example and ponder over it:
When you're shoe shopping, and a shoe doesn't fit, you don't change your foot to fit the shoe.
You change the shoe.
So, ladies, stop bending your feet to fit those shoes that aren't worth it in the first place.
Leave him, and don't look back.
Do it for you. Do it for your happiness.
Cry as hard as you want, but just promise yourself you'll never cry for the same reason again.