He's Just Not That Into You

We all have that guy.. and when you clicked this, he popped into your head. You know exactly who this blog is referring to. Well, get ready.. because this is going to get ugly. 

If you:

a) Have been seeing someone that you're "not sure" is totally interested
b) Have been obsessing over someone (i.e. waiting around for a text, or going places where you know you have a chance of running into them..creeping, lurking, or lingering...) who obviously isn't interested 
c) Are with someone who genuinely couldn't care less about you
d) Are desperately missing a crappy ex

I'm here to help you lift your head up, walk away, and let go. 

Rule Number One: Anything you chase in your life, will run away.

Men, for the most part, like to pursue women. It's just in their genes or something. Men like not knowing if they can catch you, and they feel rewarded when they do. Which, in turn, will make you seem much more valuable to them. If you're blowing up his phone every night or creeping around town hoping to run into him.. he's going to view you as a stage five clinger and flee out of your sight. Give a man a chase and he'll eat it up. Don't EVER text him first.. and if he texts you, don't text back immediately. Give the guy a few minutes. It's creepy and obsessive if he sends you a text and before he can even click the home button on his iPhone.. DING! Here's your reply. Stop it. Relax. This is when you'll find out if he's actually interested. If he doesn't text you.. quit telling yourself "well maybe he thinks i'm not interested..", "maybe he's waiting for me to text him first..", "well maybe he's shy".. NO. Bottom line: if he wanted to contact you, he would. Stop making excuses for this obviously uninterested guy, and find one who puts forth some effort. You are a prize.. and you deserve to be pursued. No matter how many times you've imagined your first name with his last, it's never going to happen.

Rule Number Two: If a guy wants you, he'll do everything in his power to keep you. 

This rule is referring to "c" on my list. If you're with someone who isn't reciprocating in your relationship.. get out, now. Find someone who will compromise with you. Relationships are a two way street, and both partners should be putting in equal amounts of effort. You shouldn't be doing all of the bending. Cut your losses and don't waste your time. If you don't, he will continue to drag you through a completely unsatisfying relationship, and you'll never be truly happy. The other day in my history class, I heard a guy say he loves his girlfriend and wants to be with her forever.. but doesn't believe in marriage. I call BS. Every man you've ever dated who has said he doesn't want to get married or doesn't believe in marriage.. will, rest assured, someday be married. It just will never be with you. A man who wants to make a relationship work will move mountains to keep the woman he loves. If he's not calling you to tell you he loves you and wants you back, it should be because he's showing up at your house to do it in person. If he's not doing any of that.. he may love you, he may miss you, but ultimately he's just not that into you. Stop taking his calls and let him know what it's like to live without you. Also, don't be flattered that he misses you. He should miss you. However, he's still the same jerk who treated you terribly. Remember, the only reason he can miss you is because he's committed the actions which led him to every day..not be with you. Be classy. And don't confuse being classy with being a doormat. Classy is walking away with your head held high, graciously, and with all dignity. Being a doormat is still offering to drive him to the dentist for his root canal. No matter how powerful and real your feelings may be for someone, if that person cannot fully and honestly return those feelings and actively love you back, these feelings mean nothing. Cut him off. Let him miss you. And never give him the chance to mistreat you again. 

Rule Number Three: It's called a breakup because it's broken.

Breakups are hard..but they're supposed to be clean breaks. Hard, clean breaks. No talking, no seeing, no touching, no drunk dials. The relationship is over.. and you're definitely not supposed to sleep with the guy who just broke your heart a week ago. Call all of your friends, go to the gym, sleep it off, go buy a puppy.. do whatever you have to in order to move on and get him off of your mind. If it was meant to be, it would've been. But it's over. And by the way.. breakup sex still means you're broken up.  Hey girl. Get your hands off of him, put your clothes back on, and go home. Do not find an excuse to stay. Do not think that because of all the crazy hotness of it all, you're meant to be together. Yes, breakup hook ups do seem like a good idea, but it confuses everything and makes you have separate emotions. Deciding to get back together with someone is a complicated and difficult decision. Just remember that the person you're getting back together with is the same person who, not long ago, looked you in your beautiful face, with all of your amazing qualities, and said "no thanks, i'll go out and sniff around for something better for a while." You deserve to be with someone who treats you like the princess you are. 

And last, but not least...

There's a guy out there who's going to be really happy that you didn't get back together with your crappy ex-boyfriend; or really happy that you finally gave up on that person you were chasing. I know mine is. 

What's with all the skin?

Modesty-(noun) the act of showing reserve in behavior or clothes.

"Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body." 
-1 Corinthians 6:19-20

"Likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control.." 1 Timothy 2:9

You've seen the dictionary definition of modesty.. and you've seen what the bible has to say about it. So why am I still seeing so much skin everyday, and the most recent disaster.. Halloween. 

This may be appealing to the disgusting guys who are only out for one thing.. and will get you all the attention you're begging for.. but do you really think this is favorable in God's eyes? I mean, do you really have to dress like THIS to feel beautiful or feel good about yourself? Do you really need to broadcast your double D breasts and butt cheeks to attract the man of your dreams? If so, you need help.

I don't understand why girls feel the need to dress this way. All you're doing is portraying yourself as easy.. and guys will see you as a piece of meat, not the beautiful princess of God that you really are. A guy's dream is to have a smart girl, a bass pro shops girl, and a victoria's secret girl all in one. Guys want to hookup with the girls who are purposefully exposing cleavage and wearing shorts up their cracks at the local club.. but do you think he's going to marry you after that one night stand? No. Because no guy wants to marry a girl that he got in one night. You know why? If he got you in one night.. who knows how many other guys have gotten you into their bed as well. Also, as most if not every woman knows, men love a challenge. "Hi i'm Jane Doe. Take me home, screw me, and wife me." Sounds like a fairytale doesn't it? Whether you're sexually active or not, you shouldn't be exposing yourself this way. You have no right to complain about all of these jerks you come in contact with who don't respect you.. if you disrespect yourself enough to dress this way. Girls: if you want respect from another person.. you have to learn to respect yourself and your body FIRST. Until you do that, you'll never find your "prince charming." Besides, what kind of girl wants one of those pigs at the club who drools all over you, and is sooo dreamy when he asks to buy you drinks and take you home for the night. You shouldn't! Demand respect, and you'll get it. Also, if you're a mother, you sure as hell shouldn't be dressing like this. If my mom dressed this way when I was a toddler.. oh my gosh. I'd be ashamed to this day. And if you're married or dating someone, respect your significant other and don't expose this much skin when going out in public. That is disrespectful not only to yourself, but to him as well. Leave something to the imagination. I wear more clothes to the beach than what's in this picture. Come on ladies, cover up. Learn to feel beautiful in sweats and a tshirt. When you do, the right guy will love you in those sweats and tshirt.. not in some slutty collection of cloth that some of you are calling an "outfit" these days. I didn't get my Prince Charming's attention by wearing skimpy clothes.. you shouldn't either.

XoXo,
Hope Gabrielle. 

Why You Should Not Get Back Together With Your Ex

Yeah I know. Every girl wants that story. You date for a couple years, break up for a couple weeks (or months, or YEARS) and find out that you really can't live without him. You send the risky text "Hey. I've been thinking about you (I miss you). How have you been?" and he responds with the "You've been on my mind too. I still love you. Please lets work us out." 

Us.

The word that unifies you two together. "Us." A two letter word that you can't really define. And it hits you. All the memories and laughs and good, fun times that you had together. Allllllll of that comes flooding back. The time he created scavenger hunts for you, bought you tickets to the concert you were dying to see, Victoria Secret gift cards (which really was a gift for him), the way he knew you don't like crust on your sandwhiches and have a crazy, obsession for Starbucks coffee. He knows everything about you and you about him so uh, duh! This is the best idea ever. But you see, all that is no good. Do you not remember the breakup? Why you left him? The rumors spread, the games played, the tears you cried? No, you're not remembering that. Wanna know why? Keep reading.

1. You're focusing on the positive. 
- Yes, its easy to replay over and over the good part of your relationship. When your heart is trying to heal, it focuses on overglorifying the person you're trying to forget. Honestly, your heart is messing with you. It is holding on to what is comfortable, which brings me to number 2.

2. You're comfortable 
- You don't have the shave your legs everyday, or try super hard to impress him with quirky jokes. He's comfortable. He's seen you dressed up, dressed down, dressed ugly. It feels natural, exciting even to rekindle with someone you once loved. It's the dramatic, can't live without you love that you come to find you still need. Nope. Wrong again.

3. You're two different people now.
- Time changes people. Maybe he has turned into someone you wouldn't like or you are now someone he doesn't like. Being apart shifts your personalities. Maybe you are so different, you just don't click anymore. Take a hint, sweetheart.

4. The 2nd "honeymoon" stage will go away.
- The new and exciting stage will fade. Yeah, this thing isn't real! He will go back to his nagging, annoying self who never puts the seat back down on the toilet.. reminding you of why you left him in the first place. He may have changed, but his roots are still there. All the reasons you left in the first place will come flooding back faster than the happy emotions the day you decided to give it another go. 

Trust is the underlying factor of any relationship. Being apart for weeks, months, or even years can break that trust, or whatever is left there of. You don't know who he's been with, or what he's done since you and it's none of your business. It's called a breakup because it is broken. Don't hurt yourself even more trying to piece it back together. 

"Any country that accepts abortion is not teaching the people to love, but to use any violence to get what they want."-Mother Teresa

Before you embark on the long journey of reading this post, make sure you've got plenty of time on your hands.. because it's going to get pretty detailed and deep. For years and years, the issue of abortion has come up at every election.. every public speaking class.. and basically everywhere else. Tonight, i've chosen to examine abortion from all angles and analyze each. If you know me, you already know that I am pro-life. However, I do believe that if there is a severe issue with the pregnancy in which the mother will be harmed or killed, such as an ectopic pregnancy (when the baby cannot survive anyway), she has the right to save herself. Of course, this will have to come with proof from a doctor that there actually is an extreme issue in the pregnancy. Don't even get me started on rape. If there is a perfectly healthy baby growing inside of you, there are families all over the world who would gladly adopt and love this baby you'd rather toss in the trash to save your "self-worth". There is no excuse. Anyway, to begin this long, detailed argument.. i'm going to give you the one most important reason you should be pro-life: God is against the killing of another human being.

God is against the killing of another human being.

Exodus 20:13 "Thou shalt not kill."

Deuteronomy 5:17 "Thou shalt not kill."

Matthew 5:21 “You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘You shall not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment."

Jeremiah 1:5 says that before he formed us in the womb, he knew us... he had a plan for each and every one of us before we were even born. God had a plan for each and every child that was selfishly aborted.. so disheartening. 

If the answer to the issue of abortion is clearly stated through bible words, how can you be a christian and support the murder of an unborn child? 

Oh, because it isn't murder right? Because it isn't technically considered "life" yet, right? WRONG. God decides when to create life.. it isn't up to you to decide to kill an unborn child for your own selfish needs. 

Life begins at conception.

If a scientist found one SINGLE living cell on another planet, everyone would go crazy saying we found life on another planet. So how can a developing fetus in a mother's womb not be considered life.. but simply a "ball of cells"? You've had the science lessons, and you already understand that as soon as egg meets sperm.. a baby starts the 40 week growth process. By aborting this "ball of cells", you're preventing it from developing into a full grown baby and being delivered.. therefore, you're murdering another human being. At about 22 days after conception the child's heart begins to circulate its own blood, unique to that of its mother's, and his heartbeat can be detected on ultrasound. Most people don't even find out they are pregnant until they're about 4 weeks along.. right after they've missed their menstrual period by days, or even a week or two. Alabama allows for abortions for up to 14 weeks. This is what is going on with a baby inside a womb at 14 weeks: "Your baby can now squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his thumb! Thanks to brain impulses, his facial muscles are getting a workout as his tiny features form one expression after another. His kidneys are producing urine, which he releases into the amniotic fluid around him — a process he'll keep up until birth. He can grasp, too, and if you're having an ultrasound now, you may even catch him sucking his thumb." How can any mother do this to her own flesh and blood? It's something i'll never understand. 
Also, i've heard people argue and say "well, if you have protected sex, you're preventing the sperm from getting to the egg.. and preventing life.. so are you killing a baby then too?!" No. Because the sperm is still a single cell, and the egg is a single cell.. they have not joined 
together in the conception process, and therefore, you're not ending a human life.

Bring on the excuses.

"But i'm too young to have a baby."
-but you weren't too young to be having sex, were you?

"But my parents would kill me."
-If your parents have a heart, they would rather you be honest and tell them than to go terminate their own grandchild without their consent.

"But I don't have the money."
-If you have parents or grandparents that love you and want what's best for their grandchild/great grandchild, they will help. If they won't/can't help, get a job. The majority of teen moms in our country had their children using medicaid type programs.. what's stopping you? And if you know you just can't afford it what so ever, it brings me back to the adoption option. (ha, I rhymed.)

"But I don't want to be with this guy forever."
-Just because you have a baby with someone, doesn't mean you have to marry them. If you don't love them with all your heart, why were you having sex with them in the first place? 

"But people will judge me."
-Quick question.. why are you more worried about being judged  by people on this earth, than by God? His judgement is much more important and actually matters. Also, people would most likely judge you more after finding out you've been heartless enough to kill your own flesh and blood.

"But I haven't finished college.. and i'm having so much fun.. I can drink alcohol and i'm skinny.. a baby would just be an inconvenience to me right now."
-Grow up and take responsibility for your actions. You couldn't keep your clothes on, so now you're going to deal with the consequences of your actions. 

"But if abortions are made illegal.. there will be all kinds of back-alley abortions and things like that.. putting girls in danger."
-In case you don't watch the news, this is ALREADY happening. Don't believe me? Look up Cassidy Goodson. She is a 14 year old lakeland florida teen who recently gave birth to her baby in her bathroom using scissors, and strangled it to death so her family and friends wouldn't find out she had gotten pregnant. She is now in a juvenile detention center and may be tried as an adult. She was also charged with murder and child abuse. Did that make your stomach turn? Yeah, mine too.

Abortions are bad for your health.

Aside from the most common emotional side effects from abortion: overwhelming guilt, nightmares, regret, depression, excessive drinking, drug abuse, promiscuity, an inability to form or maintain relationships, difficulty bonding with later children, and other ways in which they are suffering... women often have internal health issues following abortions. Other possible side effects are: heavy or persistent bleeding, infection or sepsis, damage to the cervix, scarring of the uterine lining, perforation of the uterus, damage to other organs, infertility in the future or problems getting pregnant again, and even death in some cases.

And here are your facts:

Here is a thumbnail sketch of the scientific evidence of the existence of human life before birth. These are irrefutable facts, about which there is no dispute in the scientific community.

At the moment when a human sperm penetrates a human ovum, or egg, generally in the upper portion of the Fallopian Tube, a new entity comes into existence. "Zygote" is the name of the first cell formed at conception, the earliest developmental stage of the human embryo, followed by the "Morula" and "Blastocyst" stages.

Is it human? Is it alive? Is it just a cell or is it an actual organism, a "being?" 

The zygote is composed of human DNA and other human molecules, so its nature is undeniably human and not some other species.

The new human zygote has a genetic composition that is absolutely unique to itself, different from any other human that has ever existed, including that of its mother (thus disproving the claim that what is involved in abortion is merely "a woman and her body").

This DNA includes a complete "design," guiding not only early development but even hereditary traits that will appear in childhood and adulthood, from hair and eye color to personality traits.

It is also quite clear that the earliest human embryo is biologically alive. It fulfills the four criteria needed to establish biological life: metabolism, growth, reaction to stimuli, and reproduction.

Finally, is the human zygote merely a new kind of cell or is it a human organism; that is, a human being? Scientists define an organism as a complex structure of interdependent elements constituted to carry on the activities of life by separately-functioning but mutually dependant organs. The human zygote meets this definition with ease. Once formed, it initiates a complex sequence of events to ready it for continued development and growth:

The zygote acts immediately and decisively to initiate a program of development that will, if uninterrupted by accident, disease, or external intervention, proceed seamlessly through formation of the definitive body, birth, childhood, adolescence, maturity, and aging, ending with death. An organism.

By contrast, while a mere collection of human cells may carry on the activities of cellular life, it will not exhibit coordinated interactions directed towards a higher level of organization.

The scientific evidence is quite plain: at the moment of fusion of human sperm and egg, a new entity comes into existence which is distinctly human, alive, and an individual organism - a living, and fully human, being.

Also, maybe if abortions are made illegal.. young girls won't be so quick to have careless unprotected sex. Knowing you can't do anything as a "quick fix" to getting pregnant will definitely change their mindsets. 

Try and argue with me now.

"But I feel that the greatest destroyer of peace today is abortion, because it is a war against the child - a direct killing of the innocent child - murder by the mother herself. And if we accept that a mother can kill even her own child, how can we tell other people not to kill one another? How do we persuade a woman not to have an abortion? As always, we must persuade her with love, and we remind ourselves that love means to be willing to give until it hurts. Jesus gave even his life to love us. So the mother who is thinking of abortion, should be helped to love - that is, to give until it hurts her plans, or her free time, to respect the life of her child. The father of that child, whoever he is, must also give until it hurts. By abortion, the mother does not learn to love, but kills even her own child to solve her problems. And by abortion, the father is told that he does not have to take any responsibility at all for the child he has brought into the world. That father is likely to put other women into the same trouble. So abortion just leads to more abortion. Any country that accepts abortion is not teaching the people to love, but to use any violence to get what they want. That is why the greatest destroyer of love and peace is abortion. It is a poverty to decide that a child must die so that you may live as you wish." " -Mother Teresa 

and here is my beautiful nephew to remind you of God's greatest creation..LIFE. 

Dear Me

Dear Me

Dear Me at 5: Don’t fight with your sister so much. You don’t know this now, but that girl will grow up to protect you and bash the name of every person that tries to hurt you. She may be the older one, and okay maybe she was a cuter baby and had better hair than you did, but don’t take her for granted. Don’t envy her. There will come a time when you have to depend on her for advice for school, for relationships, and even for your babies. You'll both grow up faster than ever and you’ll miss precious moments in time you can never get back.

Dear Me at 12: Stop trying to fit in. I know you feel like your American Eagle jeans and Abercrombie top make you “cool” but honestly they’re just clothes. You could get 3 tops at Target for the price of that one. You’ll eventually learn this. You will eventually loooooove some Target. The moose on that shirt doesn’t make you more popular. And ps: neither does that black ring around both eyes. You look like a baby raccoon, Hope. 

Dear Me at 14: He doesn’t like you. He won’t ever like you. It doesn’t matter how many stars you wished on, wrote entries about how he “flirted” with you in class, or pennies you threw in the well hoping to be his. He just doesn’t like you. Don’t waste 4 months “loving” him. You don’t even know what love is at 14 silly! By the way: he ends up doing nothing with his life, and later has 2 kids with two different girls. Bullet = dodged.

Dear Me at 15: Your very first kiss ever at the movies. Yikes. I promise you’ll get better at it and I promise you’ll grow to really like doing that even though right now you’re sorta kinda scared. It’s okay – you’ll meet girls who didn’t get kissed until 17. You’re still cool.

Dear Me at 16: Your first broken heart. You’ll pull through. You’re 16. You still have no idea what “love” is. Don’t write that stupid letter confessing your heart and don’t show up at his work and demand an answer. There will be a day you’ll cry your eyes out in your room late at night over it when you find out he has a new girlfriend and one of your closest friends will come over with Starbucks and a movie. Take the advice she gives you: You will break hearts of your own, Hope and your heart will break probably a few more times. You will be okay. Guess what? You’ll be better than okay.

Dear Me at 18: I'm glad you had the strength to walk away from that guy. You needed these hard past two years with what happened. It will forever define you and what you think of yourself. You'll never be so quick to let a guy into your heart.. and you'll date YOUNGER from now on instead of older.. yep, you're kind of a cougar. By the way.. this cute new Cottage Hill boy you're hanging out with lately? I know your families are friends.. and he’s from the same small town.. But be careful diving headfirst into this relationship.. you'll be in it for two years.. and you'll be devastated from the break up. Let go of that love a lot sooner. It will free you. Other than that, do exactly as you think you should because these next two years of your life will be the most self-changing, self-defining, self-growing, self-learning, independent years of your life. Don’t change a thing. There will be times you wish you could go back, and times that you will miss him, but I promise you, if you keep going and don’t look back, you'll see why the hardest experience will turn into the best thing to happen to you. This next year in Tuscaloosa is when you meet the love of your life, just be patient. 

Dear Me at 20: Go visit your grandfather more. There will come a day when he is no longer here with you. You can’t listen to anymore of his long (but interesting) stories or pour him a "half a bubble too much" of sweet tea. He will get sick and be hospitalized next year while you’re registered for school in Tuscaloosa, but you selflessly transfer home to spend more time with him before he passes away. You will never regret that decision.. no matter how many people tell you how dumb you are for choosing South over Alabama. I promise you have a good heart, and a good head on your shoulders.

Also, you'll go through a tragic two months of several up & downs.. basically an emotional roller coaster. But don't worry, you have the best support system. Your boyfriend, family, and true friends will help you through this.

Dear Me at 21: I'm proud of who you've become, what you've accomplished, and what you're going to do in the future. Keep up the good work. And always remember to be a good daughter, a dependable friend, and an incredible girlfriend. Don't forget to thank God every night for this life. 

Love, Me.